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Four is equal to five
Theorem: 4 = 5
Proof:
-20 = -20
16 - 36 = 25 - 45
4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5
4^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4
(4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^2
4 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/2
4 = 5
College Writing
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway
Hall that had been built on campus.
"It's
a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,"
he said.
"Actually,"
said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No
relation."
The
visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer,
also?"
"Yes,
indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."
All numbers are equal
Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then
a
+ b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b
So
all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
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